They Got More Bounce in California

Officials

1) Officially in the "Application Pending" phase of my New York Bar admission, which is lawyer code for "passed the bar, but my character is still in question until my friends notarize some forms for me."

a. Thus far, my friends have been much more effusive in their praise of me than my traditional legal employers, who offer statements such as, "In my brief contact with Applicant, she never gave me reason to question her moral character." *blush*

2) Officially registered for the February 2012 California Bar Exam.

a. Why is this exam so expensive?

3) Officially soft-registered for Themis's California Bar Course. When I say "soft-register," I mean that I had an online chat with a sales representative who added the course to my account at a, still overpriced, alumni rate. I allowed this to happen after I was assured that no money was due up front.

a. "Buy now, pay later," has always worked out well for me in the past. See Law School.

A Glimpse into the Future

In the spirit of my post-law school life, here is a melodramatic quote from a (very good!) book I just finished called Q: A Novel by Evan Mandery:

"'[P]rofessors decline to mention the most complicating detail about what happens after you graduate from law school: you have to be a lawyer.

'At that point, you can forget about public policy and doing justice. The moment you receive your diploma you become a lackey, whose job is to sift through boxes of documents and research obscure points of law, and take calls at three in the morning on a Sunday from some client in China who can’t remember the time difference. And when he calls, you can’t say, ‘Who do you think you are, it’s three o’clock in the fucking morning!’ You say, ‘Yes sir, what do you need me to do and by when do you need it?"

'The job is like a noose. Only you can't kick the chair out from under you and end it in an instant. It gets progressively tighter, but incrementally and so slowly that you hardly notice the change, until one day you realize that you cannot breathe anymore and you ask yourself, how did this happen? You are choking on your life, and there's no way out.'"

Eastward Bound

After a month-long respite in California, I am returning to the hurriquake ravaged East Coast to pursue my post-law school fortune. I am fortunate in that I have been granted a 6-month reprieve, in the form of a fellowship, from the world of permanent employment.

Hopefully, this period of limbo will allow me to find a job that I do not instantly wish to quit. Perhaps it will allow me to study for the California Bar Exam. Most likely, it will allow me to make questionable, counterproductive life choices, such as emulating the hairstyle of this woman of Ms. Universe, Project Runway, and sex tape fame:



I think it could be moderately professional when paired with a pencil skirt.

All-Access Pass

One bar down, indeterminate number to go/retake.

The Days Are Full

As the Bar Exam creeps closer, a mere 4 days away, my days have become overwhelming. Today, for instance, I left my house at the crack of 11 to meet my friend for coffee, bagels, and pressing Bar Exam discussion. Our topics of conversation veered from, "What if I finish the three morning essays in an hour...can I just leave?" to "I mean they can't really make secured transactions the bulk of a question..." to "So basically Conflict of Laws is just Neumeier... ."

After a good two plus hours of probing conversation and kitten videos, I returned home where I could barely squeeze in six episodes of the first season of Glee, the latest episode of the Glee Project (with live gchat commentary), and a terrible ABC Family movie.

While I am concerned that I know little of NY CPLR aside from what I learned from the New York Practice power point I endured Fall Semester, today I found myself more concerned with the yellowing condition of my teeth. I spent time clicking through amazon.com products rather than through practice essays.

If I do not pass the Bar Exam, it will only be for lack of studying. At least I will have a whiter smile.

What I Learned Today

Nothing related to the bar exam.

But did you know they make Chocolate Pirate's Booty?



I'd like to think this product was created, in part, to address the problem of having white snack powder visible on black work pants after a lunchtime booty binge. Chocolate powder is much more professional.