Faculty Flair Favorite Round 2

This week's Faculty Flair award goes to Professor Frederic Bloom of Brooklyn Law School. Professor Bloom recognizes a break when he sees one. Here was an opportunity to get out of Brooklyn, and dammit if he was going to let the shoddy work of a tripod and a drab tie hold him back. This is a man who demanded to see the dailies and insisted on wardrobe and camera angle alterations to maximize his star potential.

Upon first encounter with Professor Bloom in video 1 of the New York Evidence videos, he appears diminutive and underwhelming in his broad green tie and three button cardigan.




But by video 3 of New York Evidence, Professor Bloom has viewed his earlier footage and understands that changes must be made.

He dashes from the portrait studio and into the men's section where he finds a new, yet equally broad, orange tie. As he holds the tie up to his neck to ensure that its color is adequately striking, he notices his bangs are in disarray. After a few sideward glances to make sure no one in the store is watching, he quietly spits into his fingers and slicks his side-bangs forward. With his bangs in place and new tie in hand, he returns to the portrait studio. Along the way, he passes a family with two screaming toddlers dressed in Easter finery, impatiently waiting their turn to pose before the studio's marbled brown backdrop. Professor Bloom offers them a weak smile, knowing that the family will be waiting many more days, perhaps even weeks, for Themis to relinquish the portrait studio.

Once inside the studio, Professor Bloom moves the tripod on which the camera sits a few feet closer to his podium to create the illusion of a commanding presence. Before he begins recording, he remembers to correct his stance, placing his arms away from his torso and instantly slimming himself 10 pounds from videos 1 and 2.




Professor Bloom continues lecturing, confident in his editorial changes. Until video 4 when he is overcome with uncertainty and switches back to his video 1 and 2 attire.



By video 6, fickle Bloom is back to orange, and the family with the screaming toddlers is no closer to having its Easter portrait taken.

So here's to you Professor Bloom. Your wry humor, Wu Tang Clan jokes, and collection of broad ties kept my attention long enough to hear that New York only allows reputation evidence. I hope that was the main takeaway from your lectures. I look forward to seeing you in a whole new cardigan in Conflict of Laws.